16 June 2008

only 4600 to go...

...the number of working days I have left until I can retire. I wonder if any of those blog widgets go that high?

Today was the first official work day at the new location. Much of it was spent cursing at the computers that refused to work and getting lost down hallways in search of restrooms. I'm not sure how long the 5am wake-up time will continue. I was a bit bleary eyed and bumped into a wall this morning. Not a good sign. But we'll see how things go as the week continues.

In the meantime, I'm fighting a new battle on the homefront.

My foe is approximately a quarter of an inch long, hairy, has wings and is severely starting to piss me off.

Is it wrong to declare war against a fly?

But, my friends, this is no ordinary fly. It refuses to die. I've even whacked it a few times. It just shakes the attack off, tosses me a dirty look with its beady little eyeballs and buzzes away. I'm beginning to suspect its wearing some kind of buggy armor.

Last night was the peak of the battle. The little SOB found his way into my bedroom. (Yes, I believe it is a boy. A girl fly would mind her own business and not torment me like this.) I could hear him bouncing along the lines of the ceiling. You know this is a mutant fly when you can audibly hear its body bouncing along things and the buzzing it makes sounds more like a battle cry then a bug noise.

So I got crafty. I turned off the big light, turned on the little lamp by my bedside, grabbed a shoe off the floor and sat down on the edge of my bed. I was prepared. I really couldn't see him but I had learned his little fly habits over the past couple days and knew he would gravitate toward the light.

I heard the buzzing, I tensed.

He landed on the bedside table. I drew back my weapon. And I struck!

And I...I...cracked my alarm clock. (Unfortunately the damn thing still worked this morning.)

Of course the fly is still alive. He is still buzzing about, he tortured Dooley this evening by flying circles around his head. Dooley tried to catch him and eat him.

Good dog.

I'm determined to smash this bug dead. Although I'm becoming impressed with how long he has managed to survive in the house. I didn't really think that flies had long life spans. Maybe I should google that, this could be a long fight...


icyone said...

I love it when I laugh out load for reals

icyone said...

lol so much I forgot how to spell hehe.

Those pesky flies always like torment me by landing on my head.

Leann said...

One of my father-in-law's favorite jokes, "I killed three flies today, two female and one male", "how did you know?", "two were on the telephone and one on a beer can" Mark pointed out to him that in our household the man talks on the phone all day and the woman drinks beer.

Twila Grace said...

I feel for you, I've been there! Thanks for making me laugh! It's only funny when it's happening to someone else, of course!

Yarnhog said...

My husband swears that the best way to kill a fly is to shoot a rubber band at it. They never see it coming. And to be fair, he has dispatched hundreds, maybe thousands, of flies this way. They just vaporize. But I ask you (and him, repeatedly), what happens to all that fly vapor, anyway?