13 May 2008

the angst fairies

I believe that an army of Angst Fairies lives in my house and they've set up base camp in my studio. I have a picture in my mind of Tinkerbell gone terribly wrong. I imagine a general barking orders and dozens of the little stinkers smirking as they flutter away to do their nasty job. And doing it well, they totally are...

I have tortured myself into absolute madness over an art quilt that is 1) not that complex, 2) a wonderful topic, and 3) for an exhibit I really enjoy being part of.

And the insanity is spreading to other projects...

Its kind of like a game of pulling the petals off flowers and reciting, "She loves me, she loves me not...she loves me, she loves me not..."

Only I'm pulling out hair from my head while repeating, "I make good art, I totally suck...I make good art, I totally suck..."

I like to blame the Angst Fairies. They come and whisper in your ear when you least expect it and before you know it, your confidence in your ability to create art is shot.

I think I've managed to squash a few of the little buggers because I am finally progressing on aforementioned quilt, but still...I wasted a lot of time bouncing around from idea to idea. (Mary and Jackie can attest to that, they got to listen to me whine about it. Aren't they the lucky ones?) I can say with certainty that I was close to stealing away the title of "Goddess of Indecision" from Mary. (Of course, it doesn't help that Mary and Jackie are almost done with their quilts for the exhibit and they are both gorgeous. La de da, aren't we happy for Mary and Jackie? No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask?)

I go through this somewhat pissy period every so often and I know I'm not alone on this one. I usually take out my frustration by cleaning something. Sounds weird but I figure if I can't get my artwork to do what I want it to, I can make inanimate objects do my bidding by obsessively organizing and tossing what has ceased to be useful.

I say we figure out how to squash these fairies dead. There has to be a way. Some kind of poison, a type of roach motel (but bigger for the fairies) or a sticky sheet like they use to trap flies. If I figure something out, I promise to distribute it to all the artists out there plauged by these evil things.

**A side note...when I was stopped at a traffic light on the way home from work today, I was sitting next to a gas station. I watched as one of the workers trekked over to the price sign, and changed unleaded to $3.89. And premium went to $4.09. That means its lower priced friend will follow suit soon.

I felt sorry for the guy, I was pretty sure he could feel all the stares of hatred from all of us stuck in our cars. Its not his fault by any means but you gotta wonder what kind of karma he's working off that he is the unfortunate soul that has to change the gas prices to that.


mich said...

you cannot squash the fairies! how boring would life be without angst! who would read about everyone's charmed life? boring...michele cushman

pcoxdesign said...

Ha-ha-ha!! When I am in that mood, I vent my rage on a completely different project. Yesterday I vented my rage on a garden full of weeds.
Trying to catch the angst fairies might actually make a great little challenge for people. . . . .