29 April 2008

nothing cohesive

I’ve tried writing a somewhat intelligent blog post but its not working. Life has been humming along quite busily lately but none of it is enough to babble about for an entire post. So I’m not trying anymore. Here’s what’s going on:

1) I’m planning on taking over half of the garage this week to experiment with printing techniques on fabric. Dooley has been observing my progress as I’ve pulled out the nasty table I use for dyeing fabric. He is leary, as he should be. Last summer he had a purple spot in the fur on his back that took months to grow out. Hey, not my fault he is white and wouldn’t get out of my way, I warned him.

2) I have 43 days (but who’s counting?) until my job transfers to another city that, for all intensive purposes, is on the other side of the planet. My commute (one way) is going from 11 miles to 54 miles. I am resigned to the drive as I am unsure where I want to move. So I’m loading up on podcasts and praying gas does not hit $4.50 a gallon as they are predicting.

3) I have an unhealthy addiction to the movie Blades of Glory. I don’t know why. Its stupid and foolish and I find it very amusing. Its become the background-noise-movie of choice when I am working in my studio. Oddly enough, the DVD copy I bought is insistent on displaying the subtitles every time I turn it on (regardless of me telling it not to) (its never on long enough for the whole movie to run so it gets played in chunks) and I am somewhat disturbed that even the DVD player does not respect me.

4) I’m still knitting. Working on socks again. I liked knitting the leaves and am feeling good about the fact that I have figured out what in the hell to do with them. The botany quilts will not defeat me!!! Ha!

5) I have turned into a Labrador retriever herder. The next door neighbor’s yellow lab delights in escaping from the yard during warmer weather (I suspect she spends most of her days outside once the temperature is appropriate), waddles over to our property and barks until I come out to escort her home. I think she is asking if I can come out to play.

6) I bought a basket of pansies for the front porch. I killed the basket of pansies. I now understand why they are named pansies.

7) I apparently taste good to bugs as I have counted nineteen mosquito bites on me in the past week. The most disturbing one was the one I got in the corner of my eye. It did provide a much needed buffer at work from the stupid people as they began to suspect that I had pink eye.

8) Dooley has re-discovered stairs. A leg injury a couple years ago made it impossible for him to go up an entire flight. He has now found (due to extreme pissiness over being left alone) that he can navigate the stairs and is stuck to me like Velcro. He even pushed the bathroom door open when I was in the shower and barked at me until I agreed to give him a bath (which was previously viewed as the ultimate torture). The dog is obviously getting dementia in his old age.

9) I discovered that having the bottle of shampoo and hair removal product in the shower at the same time is not a good thing when you are prepping yourself for a long commute by getting up earlier for work (this week is 6am, next week is 5:45, the week after 5:30. Pray for me.)

10) I still want to throw something at the bird living in the tree outside my bedroom window. I swear to God, the little bastard only makes a racket on the weekends. I’m up when the sun comes up during the week. Do you hear a peep out him then? Noooooooooooo, of course not! He plans it out, I tell ya, he’s plotting to drive me crazy. He is the devil! The devil!

11) The Project-Which-Will-Not-be-Named is going to be pursued. I have obviously lost all sense of self-preservation but at the end of it all, should it be a success, I will surely be happy. Until then, I refuse to speak its name because I can be extremely superstitious and I suspect I will ensure its failure simply by giving too many details.

12) Ever wonder what would happen if you drank organic chocolate milk while eating sloppy joes? I know and I don’t recommend it.

13) Did you know that men gossip just as much, if not more, then women do? I work with nearly all guys and they are worse then a sewing circle. Do not believe them when they take the moral high ground that gossiping is a bad habit only women posses. They are filthy liars.

14) I’ve decided that when I rule the world, the following activities will be prohibited while driving: reading, texting, eating, folding laundry, putting on make-up, changing clothes, watching tv and dangling one bare foot out the driver’s side window. Yes, I’ve seen all those things and they disturb me equally. I’m not sure how people feel they can do these things and drive at the same time but clearly they are more clever then I am. When I drive I respect the fact that the only thing separating me from the other cars on the road is a little painted yellow line on the concrete. Its kind of hard to focus on that when you treat the car like a traveling entertainment unit. (Sorry, rant over.)

I lead an exciting life, huh? Hopefully the next post will be more focused...


Kari said...

Hehe, you made me laugh out loud several times with this post. Thank you! It was a fantastic way to start the morning.

As for the skeeters, if you carry dryer sheets in your pocket it supposedly keeps them away. Food for thought!

Julaine Lofquist-Birch said...

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