I've talked about my superpower here many times.
I am a List Maker. I organize my life via neat little columns of writing (hand writing, not typing - I remember it better if I actually put pen to paper) and post it notes. Nothing thrills me more then a parade of colored squares with details arranged across my desk (I know, a little weird but what can I say? I'm a Virgo).
Part of my commitment to myself to slow down during the month of June had been to let my lists get sleepy. Instead of dictating deadlines, I simply kept them more as a tool to remember things I want to get done at some point.
And a realization hit me:
The lists will never ever be finished.
Seems pretty obvious, doesn't it? But the truth is that I get tied up in getting. things. done. (Do you?) I'm always moving around the idea that there will be an end to the list, that I can reach a point where there will be nothing left to do.
Life isn't built that way. I feel sort of silly for taking so long to understand this.
A certain degree of urgency has drained away, a tenseness has creeped out when I wasn't looking. I'm not feeling frantic about not having enough time, not getting things done, not crossing off the whole list with thick lines that signal finished.
Don't misunderstand, I'm not about to just wander without purpose. Some deadlines still need to be honored but imagine how much more enjoyable it will be (and how much less stressful) if I don't treat it like a race?
Feels more balanced.
I'm off work for the next nine days. My day job shuts down for a week every july. Its not really my favorite time to take a break (we all know how I feel about the heat and sun) but who am I to complain about so much free time? You don't have to tell me twice. ;-)
I've got a list. Its long. Its impossible to finish in the time that I have off. But instead of springing out of bed in a frantic rush to start ticking things off, I did this instead:
Candy apple red nail polish.
And I ordered some supplies from Dharma. And I'm heading out to pick up strawberry pies for a small gathering with friends tonight. And I'm listening to the westie snore softly beside me while I write this post.
The Lists and I are going to be good friends, I can tell.