If this isn't concrete proof that I have lost all sense of reason and need to be locked away to sleep, I don't know what is...
1) Pet Dooley last night. Enjoy petting Dooley. Watch as Dooley rolls contentedly on side and sighs.
2) Notice back left paw has something colorful on it. (Dooley is white. He is devoid of color. Color stands out on him like a billboard.)
3) Stretch dog paw toward face and temporarily flip out when faced with strange addition to the otherwise normal number of pads on foot.
4) Stop breathing at bizarre orange color of odd addition. Touching causes flinching, its clearly part of his paw.
5) Make vet appointment as soon as office opens. Spend large portions of today googling "dog paw pad injury orange" and deciding that not only does dog have some obscure disease but he will most likely require having half his leg chopped off as well as extensive therapy. (Never mind that the dog does not appear to be in any pain whatsoever. Runs, walks, trots happily.)
6) Drag Dooley to vet, fret over what could be wrong with baby love. Pet him. Pet him a lot, coo and tell him everything is fine.
7) Plop Dooley on exam table and wait with baited breath. Become intensely annoyed as vet laughs and explains that he's never seen anything like it in all his years. (How insensitive. Mental note to self: think mean things about vet.)
8) Vet gives diagnosis: its an elusive and rarely witnessed candy corn tumor.
9) Vet explains that sticky halloween candy (which is brightly colored orange) and furry dogs don't often mix well and that little man must have walked across some. (I will admit that I had some pumpkins not too long ago. No wonder Dooley's been chewing lightly on his paw every night...)
10) Blush as vet plucks candy from between dog's pads and scootches him off the table. Watch in embarrassed horror as dog trots happily around exam room as if he has not a care in the world (which he doesn't)...
11) Drive Dooley home and vow to go to improve sleep schedule and stress levels.
*insert colossally huge sigh here*