i can't put my arms down!

Dooley watched in somewhat awed fascination this morning as I put on the following things: two sweaters, one very large oversized scarf that wrapped around my face and made me look like I was planning to rob a bank, a wool jacket (reserved for only the coldest of weather), a hat (which I never do due to extreme issues with having fine hair and the phenomenon of static electricity), and fingerless gloves that have mitten flaps so my finger tips would be protected.

I truly resembled Ralphie's brother, Randy, from the Christmas Story.

I pulled the car out of the garage and sat in the driveway for five minutes letting it warm up. The temp read 23F inside the garage and within the first two minutes of sitting outside, dropped to -9F.

I feel the Farenheit distinction is an important one to make. I live about a half hour from the border of Canada and one of my favorite radio stations is one that broadcasts from Ontario. So I'm used to listening to their weather reports and as soon as winter hits they are in the negative Celsius digits. It has somewhat desensitized me to the whole negative temperature thing because when they have read below zero temps, its often not very severe. Its still very cold but its not my-fingers-are-going-to-snap-off kind of cold.

But now? I figure Canada is probably around -1500C.

It is hideously cold outside. Here are a few things as evidence to support this claim if you don't live in one of the states that is currently doing an impersonation of dry ice:

1) My plastic badge got stuck in the swiper when I was coming into the building this morning. It was dislodged in record time thanks to the help of some very cold co-workers. There is no greater motivation for a small group of engineers to come up with a solution to something then the fact that the inside of their lungs are freezing just from breathing.

2) I drove by a construction site this morning and I'm not sure if the workers were people or mummies. All I saw were eyeballs peering out from beneath even more layers of clothing then I had on.

3) Dooley bravely went out to tinkle this morning. His unfortunate height often causes him to walk through things he shouldn't and his paw momentarily stuck to the snow. (Not that you wanted to know this but I was nearly out the door to dislodge him when I realized my dog was about to be frozen in place by virtue of his own pee.)

4) There are over 300 school closings today. I personally think everything should be closed except for hospitals. We need those people to defrost us.

5) The radio station I was listening to spent an extraordinary amount of time discussing the least harmful method of breaking into your car if it's going to be sitting outside all day. Mine is. They have me mentally prepared for the fact that the doors may be frozen shut. I'm ready to troop out to the parking lot after work with a mug full of steaming hot water and toss it at the door while saying a prayer that it will actually open and let me back inside.

6) I was actually happy that I have a bad back and am able to park in the handicapped spots.

7) I have been driving around with art supplies in my trunk for some time. Do you think gel medium can be used after its unthawed once its turned solid?

8) I want to go home and knit. Burying myself under a large pile of wool while making things that will actually keep me from getting frostbite is more appealing than sitting here at work.

So if you are in one of the states that is frozen beyond recognition, be safe. Stay warm. And make some kind of sacrifice to the sun god for warmer weather. We need it.