There is no better way to drive yourself mad then to go clothes shopping. I swear, I think I may be one of the few females on the planet born without the shopping gene. (I also don't have the wedding gene but that's a whole 'nother story.)
I decided to go clothes shopping today. At a mall. Voluntarily.
No, I'm not running a fever, why do you ask?
A wardrobe update is well past due. Clothing is fitting sloppy and it would be nice if I had something appropriate for the weather. (Which is always fun because I need to shop in order to achieve layers. It may be 80 degrees outside but it will be -200 inside once the air conditioning at work kicks on.) I went to many many many stores today and tried on many many many types of clothing and bought...two t-shirts.
Shoot me now.
So in honor of the hideous shopping day I had today, I bring you my Top Ten Reasons Why Shopping for Clothes Suck:
1) Shopping right when the spring fashions come out can make you feel like you are shopping in Candyland. Pink, pastels and foof galore. Oh my.
2) What is a size large in one store will be a size negative small in another. Get a system people! Get a system!
3) Let's take a vote: how many people actually want to wear the incredibly loud busy prints that are guaranteed to make you look fifty times wider then you actually are? Anyone? Anyone?
4) Do the headless mannequins disturb anyone else or is it just me?
5) Why is it the smaller the item of clothing, the higher the price? How can a tank top cost $45 but a pair of pants right next to it is $25. Its some kind of odd clothing mathematics...
6) Why are pants called "a pair of pants"? You only wear one...
7) With the arrival of spring and summer brings the glitter and rhinestones. Brace yourself, it can't be avoided. You'll look like a walking disco ball.
8) The men's department has tons of cool graphic tees. The women's have a couple white t-shirts with an iron-on Hello Kitty and some bizarre cafe image involving chocolate and coffee. And rhinestones.
9) The women's department is usually situated next to the perfume counters. Glorious combinations of a hundred strong perfumes have embedded themselves into the clothes and will take a hundred washings to remove.
10) When all else fails, go stare at the mannequin and go pick out the same outfit. The only difference will be that you have a head.