24 March 2008

A sure thing

There is no better way to drive yourself mad then to go clothes shopping. I swear, I think I may be one of the few females on the planet born without the shopping gene. (I also don't have the wedding gene but that's a whole 'nother story.)

I decided to go clothes shopping today. At a mall. Voluntarily.

No, I'm not running a fever, why do you ask?

A wardrobe update is well past due. Clothing is fitting sloppy and it would be nice if I had something appropriate for the weather. (Which is always fun because I need to shop in order to achieve layers. It may be 80 degrees outside but it will be -200 inside once the air conditioning at work kicks on.) I went to many many many stores today and tried on many many many types of clothing and bought...two t-shirts.

Shoot me now.

So in honor of the hideous shopping day I had today, I bring you my Top Ten Reasons Why Shopping for Clothes Suck:

1) Shopping right when the spring fashions come out can make you feel like you are shopping in Candyland. Pink, pastels and foof galore. Oh my.

2) What is a size large in one store will be a size negative small in another. Get a system people! Get a system!

3) Let's take a vote: how many people actually want to wear the incredibly loud busy prints that are guaranteed to make you look fifty times wider then you actually are? Anyone? Anyone?

4) Do the headless mannequins disturb anyone else or is it just me?

5) Why is it the smaller the item of clothing, the higher the price? How can a tank top cost $45 but a pair of pants right next to it is $25. Its some kind of odd clothing mathematics...

6) Why are pants called "a pair of pants"? You only wear one...

7) With the arrival of spring and summer brings the glitter and rhinestones. Brace yourself, it can't be avoided. You'll look like a walking disco ball.

8) The men's department has tons of cool graphic tees. The women's have a couple white t-shirts with an iron-on Hello Kitty and some bizarre cafe image involving chocolate and coffee. And rhinestones.

9) The women's department is usually situated next to the perfume counters. Glorious combinations of a hundred strong perfumes have embedded themselves into the clothes and will take a hundred washings to remove.

10) When all else fails, go stare at the mannequin and go pick out the same outfit. The only difference will be that you have a head.


LoieJ said...

I have to agree with all your points and add two: 1) my size must be the most popular because I'm guaranteed to not find it on the sale rack. 2) No, I don't want a shirt, jacket, etc. with a ____ embroidered on it. Fill in embroidery of the season, such as a bird house, a snow flake, a pumpkin. Akkkk. I wouldn't mind a blank denim jacket that I can applique my own design on, but they are not to be found.

My clothes selection is getting really ratty, but I don't even see clothes in stores that appeal to me enough to try on.

Barbara H. said...

From just what I have seen from the ads that come with the newspaper, the Spring clothing is not appealing to me at all. Not even close. It's driving me to the sewing machine and encouraging me to use up my vast fabric collection. I do not wish to wear ginormous prints and glitz, thankyouverymuch.

Kim Hambric said...

What's with this new blouson look? And those wide cropped jackets? If you've got boobs and put those things on you look like a barn. A rhinestone barn.

I wouldn't mind a visit to a big-time mall with lots of lovely stores. But out here in the sticks, a day (ha ha) at the mall is mental suicide.

We have a wide variety of melon-colored polyester pantsuits. MMMMMMM.

p.s. Nothing is worse than bra shopping. Is there?

Anonymous said...

Come up north, Lynn. We actually have one store up here with decent looking clothes. It's family owned, second generation. The owner is a woman in her late 40s or early 50s. She's an excellent buyer. I can always find things I there when I need something and the prices are reasonable. There's a small amount of glitz but most of the clothes are attractive. The women who work there know the merchandise and it turns over fast because people come up here on vacation and shop I agree, the stuff at the malls is awful. I did the 70s thing in the 70s and it wasn't pretty then. I have the pictures to prove it. LOL

Cara said...

I agree. I hate the maul! In some stores, the smaller sizes of pants are up high, out of reach. I need a sales associate to help me. They don't want to help a middle aged SAHM. No sirree Bob!

I just figure that in the end, iof a size 8 has to climb the shelves, they are doing better than if the size 28s climb the shelves.

The clothes that fit are too young or too old. The ones that are aged appropriate are too large.

Unless, of course, you want to look pregnant.