21 March 2008
My dearest Mother Nature,
I can appreciate that, as a woman, its your prerogative to change your mind whenever you want but I was wondering if you happened to notice that the calendar said that yesterday was the First Day of Spring?
I mean, I actually saw a guy out yesterday in shorts and sandals. I worried about his mental health but its becoming more and more obvious that Michiganders are attempting to will Spring into existence even if it means risking hypothermia and frost bite. That's got to be worth some kind of bonus points in your book.
I'm wondering if its just a wicked case of PMS on your part (which I can totally sympathize with, I recommend Pamprin and Ben & Jerry's ice cream) but you know, sometimes you just have to pull up your big girl panties and try not to spread the crankiness. I was perfectly content with it still being cold if it meant I could actually see the ground. But its snowing now, and it seems you won't be content until you've dumped four to eight more inches on us.
Perhaps you are just confused. This weekend is Easter, not Christmas. Maybe you just lost track of time. Its cool, we all have busy schedules and it happens. But for the love of God woman, get a grip and knock off the snow!!!
My dog has cabin fever since he can't go for walks (he's too short and your weather is too slushy, he gets yucky quick), I've gotten rounder since I can't take the dog for walks, mom wants to plant flowers, the clothes stores are selling cute lightweight clothing that will pretty much guarantee pneumonia at this point, we are growing weary of driving being the equivalent of a controlled skid, backs are aching from shoveling snow and we are simply becoming a surly depressed population. Take pity, woman, take pity.
The residents of Michigan