06 December 2007

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When I walked into work today, I was greeted with one of the cruelest things I've heard in a long time: "I wouldn't drink that coffee you're holding, there was a water main break and the bathrooms are closed."

Huh? Say again? No coffee???

Never mind the fact that without water in the building, there could be a fire and we could all be incinerated alive. I need caffeine!!!

I went to my desk, put the cup down and just stared at it. Would I dare not drink my morning coffee? I would most certainly end up with a splitting headache (shoosh, I know its an addiction and I don't care) and would most likely not resemble a human being. I would have to wait four hours until lunchtime to be able to go the bathroom. I decided to risk it in the interest of public safety - not only so I wouldn't accidentally rip someone's head off for a minor offense but because, you know, I design parts of the car that are sort of important. I would just have to do the pee-pee dance, aren't you touched by the sacrifices I make for you?

Turns out I didn't have to wait until lunch (and no, I didn't wet myself.) They sent us home early, something about workplace safety and someone freaking out over the idea of them bringing in port-o-potties. To whoever it was that bitched about it, I thank you.

So that was the Good part - getting out of work early.

Did I go and do something fun? Of course not, I'm a responsible adult and those days are long gone. I actually had an appointment at the eye doctor for this afternoon so I moved it up a few hours once work set me free. I've been having some pressure in my left eye and saw a couple tiny flashes of light the other day so by this morning, I had pretty much diagnosed myself with retina detachment. Never mind the fact that I didn't have any trouble seeing, I was convinced, I needed to seek help. (You didn't know I had a medical degree, did you? I don't, I have the internet and it is all-wise and knowing. And not always a good thing. In my defense, I do have small patch of degeneration in my left eye and the eye doctor told me that if I ever saw light flashes or floaters to come see him right away. See? I was just doing as I was told...)

I went to see the doc, he checked me out and all is well. My eyes are not peeling apart like an onion, like I may have dramatically suggested to Mary when I spoke to her the other day. But the pressure is still there so now I need to go see my regular doctor to have her check out my sinuses.

That was the Bad part. (But in a way its a Good/Bad combo since my eyes still appear to be attached to my brain and functioning.)

So what's the Ugly part? Well....me. The doc had to dilate my eyes again. I hate that with a passion but I was cool with it. Bring on the evil drops, dude. Work your light blinding magic, do your voodoo dance - just tell me my eyes aren't falling apart!!! (Can you tell I've kind of been stressing about this the past couple of days?)

I am back to looking like The Amphibian Frog Lady from some low budget sci-fi film. I tried taking a picture so I could gross you out with it but forgot to turn off the flash so all I really did was hurt myself. Besides, you wouldn't want to see it anyway. But here's a description: my eyes are a light green with a dark green ring around the edge. The dark green ring is not real thick, its like my DNA decided to toss in some accent pillows when it was figuring out my eyes - its just a little decorative touch.

Right now you can see none of the light green and barely any of the dark green. Its all a big-black-vampire-looking-soul-sucking-void where my pupils are. The dog actually looked at me funny and walked to the other side of the room when I got home.

So tomorrow I'm going to go see my regular doctor and try to get this sorted out. But tonight I'm thinking of torturing myself by watching Pirates of the Carribean 3. Captain Jack can make everything better....

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