23 August 2010

because i'm a virgo dammit

I am busily preparing for all the wonderful adventures of the Fabrications Retreat (while fighting an ear infection just to keep things interesting) and I decided to use spray paint (you see where this is heading, right?).

The metal hooks that are used to hang Blurred Boundaries are silver. (The metal hooks go over the top rail and then clear line is tied from the hook to the artwork.) The curtain we hang the artwork against is black. What's wrong with this? Absolutely nothing. We used them last year and it looked good. But for some reason this year I decided that they should be black. Why?

Because I'm a Virgo dammit. (It explains a lot about me, honestly...)

Out I went, procured black spray paint and set about my work. I've never used spray paint before but how hard can it really be? I watch HGTV. They give people "brand new" houses with nothing more then fifteen hundred cans of spray paint. I should be able to wield one can and turn silver hooks into black hooks.

Observe my genius set up:

I'm convinced those designers on HGTV aren't actually doing the painting. They probably hold some workers in a little prison cell somewhere and their punishment is to come out every so often and spray paint a whole bunch of old crap. Once the torture is over, they shove them back into that little room until the next round.

I learned a few things. Allow me to share:

1. Even if you have a blacktop driveway, black spray paint can make it even blacker.

2. When you hang items on all four sides of a box and proceed to walk around perimeter of said box to spray paint the items, it is impossible to avoid spraying away from the breeze.

3. The people on HGTV make it look easier then it is. This isn't the first time they've convinced me to do something I shouldn't...

4. Spray paint instantly mummifies flying insects. (Sorry Mr. Fly, maybe you should watch where you're going next time. Oh wait, there is no next time...oops...)

5. White pets + black spray paint = bad Lynn

6. If you don't wear gloves, your fingers will look like unfinished Jackson Pollock paintings.

7. Stinks. And not in a bring-me-the-sharpie-so-I-can-get-a-cheap-thrill kind of way. More in like the gag-I'm-being-smothered-by-toxic-nastiness way. Blech.

8. There is nothing wrong with silver hooks.

Too late now. No turning back. I'll be doing a second coat tomorrow. I'm hoping its not breezy again. Otherwise I'll be heading out to the retreat with black freckles...


mary said...

it does take some practice the adventures with spray paint.
and that smell is nothing compaired to the floral spray paint~thats a whole new level of WTF?
i just spray painted a desk i rescued from the side of the road...looks so good. but there are definate ways to do it so it "looks" easy!

Jean Baardsen said...

I'm a virgo too. I totally relate....

Leann said...

Crazy virgos. If it were me I might paint the hooks, but probably green and purple.