12 April 2011

nagging thought

on the line 5
Lynn Krawczyk

I've been having an odd feeling the past week or two. Something that I decided to hoard but then remembered my promise at the beginning of the year to be more open about the art side of my life. So I'm bringing it to the blog...

Two thoughts have been running through my head nearly every day, pretty much simultaneously:

1) I am grateful for the full artistic life that I have


2) I could be doing more.

The first one is easy to figure out. Even amongst the deadlines and worry about time (which try as I might I cannot convince to multiply), I occasionally raise my head and the knowledge of how lucky I am to have art and all the gifts it has given me in my life is overwhelming - in a totally good way. Its something I'm happy to carry with me through my day, to remind me that my art career is still moving along.

And then the second thought pops in and I'm not really sure where it comes from.

I'm doing plenty - how could I possibly add more? I feel like I'm right on the edge of something that I can't give a name to because I can't see it clearly enough.

I've not had a lot of art time. I mean, I've been making things but they've not been "just because." I think that's the source of the nagging question. Although to be honest, it feels too simplistic of an answer. There's something else rattling around in my brain that doesn't want to speak up just yet.

Being patient with this thought and feeling is like trying to herd cats. It makes me anxious and it makes me question things. Which, in all honesty, I'm totally good with. The day I stop looking to improve or stretch is the day I'll be done with art because for me that's what keeps me interested in the whole business.

I've had these arguments with myself before. They are tiring and exciting all at the same time. But its there and I'm hoping I can corner it soon.

Until then I'll let it stew and enjoy the new season, tinkering with new projects and daydreaming about what's to come.


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Sidney said...

It’s amazing to me how that feeling can be both so exciting and so frustrating at the same time. I know there is something in there, percolating. I just have to have the patience to wait for it to gel into enough of an idea to express.

Sandy said...

I know the feeling. Everyone says I create so much, but I know how much time I waste.


I've had that feeling for a little while now too.

Gisela Towner said...

I went to a guild meeting last night and quilt designer Janet Miller was the speaker. Her trunk show must have been over a hundred quilts, many of them large bed sized quilts.
Very nice, even though the folksy style is not at all my kind of thing. Yet I left feeling rather inadequate.
I tend to feel that way when I look at how much others are producing. Silly, yeah?

YOU've accomplished so much in the last few months, I can't even imagine where you find enough hours.
You don't actually sleep, do you? :)

Lesley Riley said...

Gorgeous piece. The depth is amazing. And to comment on your post - I don't think we ever feel we are doing enough. It's the nature of the beast. The more we do, the more we want to or think we should do. Given that, or the inertia of choosing to do nothing, I'll take the burden of wanting to do more every time.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes doing more comes out of "doing" less and spending time instead stoking the creative fires...
"Living the question" is what we get to do when we are growing :)

Quilt or Dye said...

I have found the key is to be like a surfer sitting out in the ocean waiting for the perfect wave. He/she can only catch it if he/she is already in place watching.

Keep working and watch for the magic that will come.

Claudine Intner said...

The more time I spend in the studio, the more I want to spend!