04 February 2009

sadly its true

Gisela sent me this the other day and I almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard I was laughing so hard. Its true in every way. I suspect that those who are close to Michigan also behave accordingly.

This is in no way a bash on anyone who lives in a warmer state. In fact, I am intensely jealous of you and wish that I reacted to cold temperatures the way this list described rather then having built up such a tolerance that I still wear t-shirts during the winter.

So in honor of the fact that we had 40 degree weather a couple days ago (and I drove with one of my windows down because it was so warm - and no I'm not joking) and is now only 9 degrees today with a wind chill warning below zero, this is an appropriate post.



COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.


60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.


50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down


40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.


35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.


20 above zero:
People in Miami all end up with pnemonia.
Michiganites close the windows.


Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.


10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.


20 below zero:
Washing DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.


30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganites get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.


40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Michigan start saying..."Cold enough fer ya?"



50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late.


I look forward to the day when I can stop complaining about how freakin' unholy cold it is this winter. (I'm sure you are too.) I promise to make an effort to suffer in silence from now on.

Oh...by the way...did I mention its cold here?

8 comments:

Pattie Wall said...

Now THAT is funny! Did you write these out of your head? Hilarious. Having lived in Colorado for MANY years and out of that there were a few Michigonian- like winters...I feel your cold! Kansas winter has been relatively mild...I crave at least ONE good snow storm and I'll bet you are saying - "Come and get it - you freakazoid!"

Kat Campau said...

Next week it'll be sunbathing weather again.

Gisela Towner said...

LOL -- sorry about the keyboard. :)

We got 18 (more) inches of 'lake effect' snow yesterday, but at least it won't snow today...only because it's too freaking cold at 1 degree. Sigh... I'm hoping we warm up to your balmy 9 degrees today.
On the bright side, it's supposed to be in the forties and raining this weekend, so there will be some flooding to look forward to.

Yarnhog said...

Funny!

Here (San Diego), we can always pick out the people from Michigan because they're the ones swimming in the ocean in February, while the locals are huddled in their down coats.

Barbara H. said...

Tonight after work I was talking to a co-worker in the parking lot. She was shivering and her teeth were practically chattering. It was 52 degrees. Yes, we are in SoCal!

Pattie Wall said...

Duh, guess I should read better - that was Gisela that wrote that - sorry Gisela.

Cathy W said...

Wonderfully funny! oh to add what would be happening in Houston with each increasingly colder temperature -- but not necessary as we wimp out fast in the cold.

Thanks for the laugh.
By the way, it was a lovely 75 today!

sa said...
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