02 June 2007

Construction Cone Season



It is officially summer in Michigan. Aside from the lovely 90 degree days with high humidity, the orange cones are out on the road in full force. Its such a blasphemy of my favorite color. Unfortunately, along with their reappearance, the urge to drive like stupid maniacs also comes back for many people.

And so I bring you my personal top-ten-stupid-driver-pet-peeve list:

1) If you are at a red light waiting to make a left turn, don't gun it as soon as the light turns green and cut off oncoming traffic so you don't have to wait.

2) If you are behind someone at a blinking red left turn light, don't honk your horn at them every time you think there is a two inch gap in traffic that you feel the car in front of you might be able to squeeze through.

3) Driving is NOT a multi-tasking activity. This includes talking on the cell phone, putting on makeup, reading a book, folding laundry and eating. You can't do any of these and drive well at the same time so DON'T DO IT!

4) If you need to turn the music up so loud in your car that it vibrates the mirrors in mine, I'm going to be praying that you go deaf soon and put the rest of us out of our misery.

5) When there are signs for a mile that one of the lanes is going to be closed, here's what it doesn't mean: get in the lane that's closing, drive really really fast, cut someone off in the lane that isn't closing and slow traffic to a crawl so that you don't have to wait your turn.

6) Do not tailgate me when I am going the 25mph speed limit in a school zone. I'll only think bad things about you and most likely they'll come out of my mouth as you speed past me and endanger the children walking in the area.

7) If you have a fleeting moment of niceness when I'm walking across the street and decide to let me have the right of way (regardless of the fact that the law says you should), please don't inch the car up as I'm crossing until you are close to hitting me and then speed by with impatience once you are past me.

8) If you are going to take the time to rush to pull out in front of me and cut me off from wherever you are waiting to turn from (ie gas station, fast food restaurant, bank), at least make the effort to go the speed limit once you are there.

9) IF THERE IS CONSTRUCTION GOING ON AND WORKERS PRESENT, SLOW THE &$^&%$^&%$& DOWN!!!

10) If you own an SUV, please remember this when you are crossing a railroad track. The cars are built pretty tough, they can stand driving over them at more then 10mph. After all, SUV does stand for Sport Utility Vehicle.

Okay, I'm done now. Rant over.

3 comments:

Caitlin O'Connor said...

YES!! I live right near railway yards - and to get to my house I have to cross at least one track no matter which way I go . My 10 y o hyundai can manage it jsut fine - why can't their $80,000 SUVs? GRRRR!
LOL!

Julaine Lofquist-Birch said...

Hmmm...Illinois too -

Cara said...

I was behind an SUV that was driving erratically on a rainy day. Were they drunk? No, they were driving around the puddles.